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Season 3, Episodes

The Thin White Line (1)

The Thin White Line (1)

Family Guy (s03e01). Season 3, Episode 1 - Air Date: 07/11/2001
Part one of two. Brian's exceptional olfactory skills nets him a job as a drug-sniffing dog, but when the job turns Brian into a cocaine addict, Brian is sent to rehab (with Peter tagging along after missing out on a vacation).
Brian Does Hollywood (2)

Brian Does Hollywood (2)

Family Guy (s03e02). Season 3, Episode 2 - Air Date: 07/18/2001
Conclusion. Following the events in "The Thin White Line," Brian decides to leave home and become a Hollywood writer. Meanwhile, Lois signs Stewie up to appear on "Kids Say the Darndest Things".
Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

Family Guy (s03e03). Season 3, Episode 3 - Air Date: 07/25/2001
When a cigarette company takes over Happy-Go-Lucky-Toy Factory, Peter is made company president and gets sent to Washington, D.C. to convince Congress that the tobacco companies are not bent on selling cigarettes to children.
One If By Clam, Two If By Sea

One If By Clam, Two If By Sea

Family Guy (s03e04). Season 3, Episode 4 - Air Date: 08/01/2001
When a hurricane hits Quahog, Horace sells the Drunken Clam, which is transformed into a British pub. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to teach a British girl with a heavy Cockney accent how to speak proper English.
And the Wiener is...

And the Wiener is...

Family Guy (s03e05). Season 3, Episode 5 - Air Date: 08/08/2001
Peter questions his masculinity when he finds out his son, Chris, has a bigger penis than he does. Meanwhile, Meg joins the flag girl squad in an attempt to be one of the popular kids.
Death Lives

Death Lives

Family Guy (s03e06). Season 3, Episode 6 - Air Date: 08/15/2001
On their wedding anniversary, Peter keeps Lois distracted with a scavenger hunt while he plays golf, but a lightning storm kills Peter and Death returns to show Peter how much Lois means to him.
Lethal Weapons

Lethal Weapons

Family Guy (s03e07). Season 3, Episode 7 - Air Date: 08/22/2001
Lois takes martial arts to fight back against the New Yorkers who have overrun Quahog, but Lois worries that her violent antics may have a bad influence on her family.
The Kiss Seen Around the World

The Kiss Seen Around the World

Family Guy (s03e08). Season 3, Episode 8 - Air Date: 08/29/2001
Meg goes for an internship at Quahog News 5 in order to get closer to her crush, Tom Tucker, but is disgusted when pervy class nerd, Neil Goldman, lands the internship as well. Meanwhile, Stewie fights back against a bully who stole his tricycle.
Mr. Saturday Knight

Mr. Saturday Knight

Family Guy (s03e09). Season 3, Episode 9 - Air Date: 09/05/2001
Peter, once again, finds himself out of work when his boss, Mr. Weed, dies, and the toy factory gets demolished in order to make a disease control center. After unsuccessfully trying to hold down a series of jobs (including prostituting himself), Peter becomes a Renaissance fair knight, who must fight his idol, The Black Knight.
Fish Out of Water

Fish Out of Water

Family Guy (s03e10). Season 3, Episode 10 - Air Date: 09/19/2001
Now overweight and still unemployed, Peter chooses Fishing as his new career. But when the pickings are slim, Peter puts his house in debt to buy a boat he can use to hunt Daggermouth, a famous fish which would earn him a lot of cash. Meanwhile, Lois takes Meg to spring break and teaches her how to have a good time, a little too well.
Emission Impossible

Emission Impossible

Family Guy (s03e11). Season 3, Episode 11 - Air Date: 11/08/2001
When Peter and Lois help Lois's sister, Carol, have a baby, Peter and Lois decide to have another child, which doesn't sit well with Stewie.
To Live and Die in Dixie

To Live and Die in Dixie

Family Guy (s03e12). Season 3, Episode 12 - Air Date: 11/15/2001
When Chris witnesses a robbery, the FBI sends the Griffin's into the witness protection program in the South. Once there, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. Meanwhile, Peter pisses off the Southerners during a Civil War Reenactment, and Chris becomes greatly confused when Sam kisses him. Back at home, one of the FBI agents accidentally lets the Griffin's location out, and the robber comes looking for them.
Screwed The Pooch

Screwed The Pooch

Family Guy (s03e13). Season 3, Episode 13 - Air Date: 11/29/2001
Peter finally begins to impress Carter, and the two become friends after Peter gives Carter a tip on beating Ted Turner in poker, but the friendship is shattered when a horny Brian has sex with Carter's favorite race dog, Sea Breeze.
Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?

Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?

Family Guy (s03e14). Season 3, Episode 14 - Air Date: 12/06/2001
After Chris starts talking “street”, Peter decides to teach him about the Griffin ancestry.
He finds out he had a black ancestor named Nate Griffin who was owned by the Pewterschmidt family.
Meanwhile, Stewie goes undercover as a cheerleader.
Ready, Willing, and Disabled

Ready, Willing, and Disabled

Family Guy (s03e15). Season 3, Episode 15 - Air Date: 12/20/2001
Peter helps Joe raise his spirits after he fails to capture a crook in a Jimmy Carter mask by training him for the Special Olympics.
Meanwhile, Meg, Chris, and Stewie find a money clip containing $26.00 and fight over who gets to keep it.
A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

Family Guy (s03e16). Season 3, Episode 16 - Air Date: 12/21/2001
In this Christmas episode, Lois struggles to keep her Yuletide cheer after Peter accidentally gives away the family's Christmas presents and Brian sets the kitchen on fire.
Meanwhile, Stewie makes a conscious choice to be good to impress Santa.
Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

Family Guy (s03e17). Season 3, Episode 17 - Air Date: 01/17/2002
When Brian gets busted for a DUI, he is sentenced to care for a bitter, old, reclusive woman.
Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard, and ends up housing a family of baby birds.
From Method to Madness

From Method to Madness

Family Guy (s03e18). Season 3, Episode 18 - Air Date: 01/24/2002
Peter and Lois find it hard to understand a family of nudists they meet, and forbid Meg to see their son who actually likes her. Meanwhile, Stewie enrolls in an acting school, and must team up with his enemy Olivia in order to stay.
Stuck Together, Torn Apart

Stuck Together, Torn Apart

Family Guy (s03e19). Season 3, Episode 19 - Air Date: 01/31/2002
Out of fear of Peter's jealousy, Lois sneaks around to meet with an old boyfriend.
When Peter sees her with out w/ the man, the truth comes out, and Lois suggests they enter marriage counseling.
The counselor suggests the spend some time apart, and date other people.
Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get accidentally super glued together at the hand, and must remain that way for a week.
Road to Europe

Road to Europe

Family Guy (s03e20). Season 3, Episode 20 - Air Date: 02/07/2002
Believing he would have a better life, Stewie runs off to “Jolly Farms”, a British made children's television show.
Peter and Lois travel to KISS-Stock.
Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

Family Guy (s03e21). Season 3, Episode 21 - Air Date: 02/14/2002
This episode was a special episode, divided up into 3 different stories apparently submitted by viewers. The story lines were different from any others in the series, and had no effect on it. The episode was hosted by Stewie and Brian.

Li'l Griffins: In the first Li'l Rascal styled segment, the boys are anti-girl, until they meet Lois who says that she likes a brave man. In order to prove to her who is the bravest, they try to stake it out overnight in a haunted house.

No Bones About It: Peter opens a bottle of beer and a Genie bursts out, telling him he has 3 wishes. In order to escape being beaten up, for his last wish, he wishes he had no bones. He escapes from the beating, but becomes a big strain on the family.

Super Griffins: When the Griffin's are hit with radioactive waste, the each gain a super power. At first the vow to use their powers only for good, but it quickly goes to their heads.
When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

Family Guy (s03e22). Season 3, Episode 22 - Air Date: 12/10/2004
When Peter loses a big amount of money on an insurance scam, he decides he needs a Jewish man to control his money. Coincidentally, one happens to have car problems in front of his house. The Jewish man does great, and saves Peter a lot of money. This makes Peter decide that in order to be successful in life, Chris needs to become Jewish. Instead of studying hard, Peter takes Chris to Las Vegas for a Vegas Bar Mitzvah.